We have all, including you, me and everyone you have probably ever met, been living life on some level as who we are not. Not one of us has actually been purely just who we are, or who we would want to be for the rest of our lives. Many folks don’t even know what this statement even means, and would swear to you, up and down all day long, that they know exactly who they are. Uh-huh…. We carry decades of blame, generations of rage, lifetimes of suffering.
Honestly, most people are still darkly dreaming in a state of being that is actually counter to their true nature.
(Waking up is hard to do. I know. I have spent over 30 years finding out what this means for myself. I can’t tell you what it means for you, but I can share some ideas with you so you can at least begin to know when you are faking it and how to honor when you are true. Find out here.)
First of all, you probably already know that you are faking it, at least some of the times. I mean, that we even had to have a discussion in our lifetimes about women faking an orgasm, or men feigning interest in what their partner has to say….really? This is the level of falsity that we have allowed to be experienced and supported as normal? It’s normal to fake one of the most intensely pleasurable experiences of your body in order to….what? Be a good sport?
That pretense causes way more than a loss of pleasurable healing in your own body’s cells, it also damages the fabric of the relationship by tearing tiny holes in it over and over again until the whole cloth is so fragile that it falls apart in the rain. If you, as a member of an intimate union are not receiving what you need, then who’s responsibility is that? Not your partner’s, I don’t care how out to lunch they are. It is your body, it is your time and its your ownership of both that matter. If you are sharing your energy field in the most intimate way possible with someone with whom you cannot find freedom, then this is on you to evolve.
- Get some clarity
- Get some perspective
- Get some space to breathe
- Do yoga
- Meditate
- Journal
In some way, figure out why you have chosen a sub-par experience. Is it because you feel inadequate to enjoy better than this? Is it because you have held an outmoded & tragic belief system that someone else is responsible for your experience? Is it something else? Because if you don’t know, you must find out. This void will never be filled if you are faking your life.
Maybe we are finally beginning to find out that this means now? Maybe we are, as a society, beginning to awaken to the ruse of who we were supposed to be, but really are not.
Unfortunately , until you are truly sick and tired of this trajectory, (and you may have made yourself physically sick and tired along the way), you will keep doing it. Change is not usually undertaken because everything is fine, is it? No, we usually don’t change until we are kicking and screaming that this can’t go on…..and often, it is because we perceive the circumstances around us, or the other people we are playing this game with, to have become so intolerable, that we are forced to shift it all. But my dearest soul, it is not because of THEM. It is totally because of you!
You are the one who kept showing up to play this game with them. You are the one who kept swallowing your experience, your honest knowing, your wisdom, your truth so as to keep playing this ridiculous game, until you felt so toxic, you had to leave.
Getting kicked out of that club is probably the best thing that ever happened to you, but you may not know it for quite some time. Maybe even years. Perspective takes time when moving on the normal human scale. We all need tools to help climb the mountains and traverse the swamps of our psyche, Using them, you can finally scale the mountain and get a good clean look sooner, than letting it get much later.
You can wake up in the Matrix. Rather than still feeling stuck with carrying stuff you really should release, learn how to let go and get on to the real point of your life, which you cannot feel if you are faking the life you lead.
How to know you aren’t ok? You still feel that middle of the night hamster wheel in your mind that spirals you around and around the drain. Or you still feel some icky feeling around someone in your life. There’s faking it to the rest of the world maybe, but there’s no faking it to your soul. Get clarity now.
There is a Soul-Deep truth desiring to emerge that is who you are, and why you have incarnated in this body. It sure as heck isn’t so that we can just keep blindly pretending to be something that we are not.
photo by muhammed-fayiz-60429-unsplash
